we arrived in sydney on saturday afternoon, chris gave us a lift back which was very nice. we're a bit disturbed that Quaffers doesn't exsist anymore and that there is an aldi here now.....but bayswiss was a nice touch.
we spent abit of time catching up with natalie's parents and then we all went into surry hells to go to a really good lebanese resturant called Emad's. while there i bumped into a girl who i didn't know.... you see last year we'd bumped into eachother and thought we knew eachother so we spent about 5mins standing there telling our life stories to try to figure out where we met up, but it ended up that we didn't actually know eachother. so we happened to see eachother again and go through the whole thing again and figure out that we knew eachother from the time we thought we actually did.
anyway, the food at emad's was great. we got home at about 9:30ish so we watched some parkinson and then went to bed.
on sunday we went over to my parents place for lunch. .....hmmm..... it was a challenge.. although my nana and pop were there too so they acted as a sort of buffer. i guess it wasn't too bad, some people don't even have parents, at least mine provide me with a soup lunch every 4mths...
after lunch we chatted about trivial things, nana knitted (she's very good) and pop went through the family tree with we and told me about his 19 uncles and aunts. i helped him with his crossword question and cut up some sticks for mum. dad went out somewhere and natalie and i made a clean brake for it. we went into westfiled and lapped up the flurescent lights and air conditioning - not something often found in little newcastle. except maybe in charlestown square but that's just weird. we met up with sarah and her new girlfriend natalie (another natalie...) and drank coffee in borders. then we came home and watched some red dwarf and then i went to coffee with kaia and caralalaowlalyn. (at Insomnia, of course) kaia and caralalaoawoalyn and i enjoyed our time and when they were driving me home i entertained them by making up dance moves to various songs on the radio, which is quite hard considering the limited car space. when i got home i watched a bit of a doco on albert bresson with the others and then went to bed in the new pj's adam had given to me. he bought them from gowings and then decided the didn't fit properly so he gave them to me. they are blue flannel with green frogs on them and are size XL. it's like being wrapped in a huge flannel sheet. very cosy and warm.

theme

it's 1:39pm.
i am home alone. i've already spent a few hours making little changes to abitofanish which probably will only be noticed by me. i went to iga to purchase some pumpkin and kumera to make soup tomorrow, chris is coming to visit for lunch and then she's giving us a lift back to sydney.
i had an spanish tomato cup-a-soup and some nutcrackers for lunch. i watched some things i taped last night including the osbournes. sharron is lovely.
i wandered aimlessly around the house until i decided to attack the washing up. there was about 3 days worth so it took me about 20mins.
i have been listening to my Cafe del Mar cd a lot.
natalie left for her last uni exam at 8am. i think it went for two hours. she's gone out for coffee in darby st with some uni people. i'm not sure when she's coming home.

i had a dream last night that i was at tafe and suddenly had an anxiety attack. Its was really weird because i've never had one before and it seemed so real - maybe i had one while i was sleeping?

alrighty so Tegan & Sara are coming to australia - how very exciting.
they are playing at the Annandale hotel on the 29th august. depending on how much tickets are i might pick some up while in sydney next week.

in the ghetto
first bit
second bit

today i saw amy on the street. she had been looking for info about flights to adelaide. how nice.
amy goes to my tafe, she's doing the same course as me and has a sister called coral also doing the course.
i just watched some Oprah. she is interviewing people that have had 'extreme makeovers' - liposuction, nose jobs etc. i am wondering whether it's something she should really be promoting on television. it's sending out a very wrong message out.

only 1hr 30mins of internet left .

it's very sad.

it's one of those grey days today. i was going to go for a walk but it looks like rain. i have had cravings for the beach lately but everytime i go it so very cold.
after a week's drought of post we finally got mail yesterday but it was for laura breckenridge, i don't know when she lived here but we always get her mail. she must get none. there's alot your can tell from mail. laura is with ANZ bank and has a REST superannuation fund.

it was the last day of term today. we drew cityscape cubist drawings in contextual drawing. we looked at a slideshow of Linda's work in Visual arts, crafts, and design in context.
all this context business is making we think about life. i'd rather not. i'm not saying i hate my life, or that i have a bad life, but i'd rather think about the trivial things like what to have for dinner.....so much easier on the brain.

bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

bastard

what the hell is wrong with the june/may achive.........

bastard......

ok so ryan set up movabletype for me.
it's a bit strange but also looks quite jazzy. well, here, where i'm typing, in the lounge of movabletype it looks nice - my blog still looks the same except for a bit of a sidebar issue.

blah. newcastle.

kaia is getting a birthday present from mum and dad.
maybe they've forgotten about me?

the sun was shining down on her as the rolled over to reveal her white pale skin to the bright sun. she could already feel the sunburn on her stomach and wondered if this time her skin would peel off all the way down to her bones. she tried to forget about the image that had just popped into her mind.
summer was dragging on and on. she longed for the warmth of a think woolly jacket with big bright buttons - her skin wouldn't peel from that sort of warmth.

annie has astro turf on her bedroom floor.
she should have got a put put golf course built in as well.

jara rang last night which was nice. it was 10:20pm and the phone rang and we were all like 'who the hell calls at 10:20pm?' but then it was jara and he said 'oops i forgot you're two hours ahead of perth'

feeling quite sick today. it started last night and won't go away. i hardly had any sleep.

i got an email today.
it was from Paige Braddock, the author/illustrator of a comic i read, Jane's World.
i emailed her yesterday but didn't think she'd reply, real estate agents don't so why should comic strip people?
anyway it was lovely.

it's really cold in this house/apartment/flat. or maybe it's just the feeling of death coming from downstairs in the butchers. they are nice people, the butchers, but their shop smells so bad, even a meat eater would agree. in the afternoon when it's being cleaned it smells like a cross between a chemical spill and a heated indoor swimming pool.

i have been playing with the same piece of blu tack for about a week. it's gone really soft and gooey.

ok. i'm going to try and put together a layout for the zine....

so if you want to give me something to put in it, tell me now. i'll use anything so don't be shy.

a bit from catatonia...

stone by stone
You always hear the shouts from my battalion
And sent toy soldiers out to help me stand
And when I see you hide behind those curtain folds
I cross the room to turn the lights down low

On common ground we'll build our castle walls
We'll build them stone by stone and how
With more and more you know it won't take long
Where it burned orange let it burn gold

I wouldn't like to learn a lesson everyday
Good times, bad times, it's just the price to pay
But give them half a chance at turning back the tide
I stay at home and keep my boys in line

On common ground we'll build our castle walls
We'll build them stone by stone and how
And more and more you know it won't take long
Where it burned orange let it burn gold

And given half the chance to turn the hands of time
I'm always a bridesmaid
Couldn't live with myself
If I tried to be the bride

On common ground we'll build our castle walls
We'll build them stone by stone and how
With more and more you know it won't take long
Where it burned orange let it burn gold

some cds i like:

catatonia : stone by stone
belle and sebastian : I'm waking up to us
lamb : what sound
the cure : bloodflowers
tori amos : little earthquakes
vast : visual audio sensory theatre
badly drawn boy : about a boy soundtrack
eels : daisies of the galaxy

i think i've only decide to blog this afternoon because my fingers are cold and need warming up. today i slept until about 11.30am. it was a good sleep but i was either really hot or really cold and my socks were annoying me. i took them off in the end. we went for a walk down to some op shop because i want to get some overalls. hard yakka style. for painting of course, not as a fashion statement...unless the statement was 'i am going to go paint'. i didn't find any overalls but went into a secondhand bookshop - that now sells a minimal amount of art aupplies - and bought an art history study guide. most of the book is about art and design in context which will come in handy when doing my assignment for Visual arts, crafts, and design in context.
I also bought a cd which i probably shouldn't have.... it's 'volumen siete' of Cafe del Mar. it's sort of ambient re-mixes of all types of music. sort of lying in the bath music. i was introduced to cafe del mar by linda, my art theory teacher. she had volumen Ocho (sp?) at tafe last week. I think i'd like to get that album too, but it cost $30 and volumen siete cost $15 and since i don't really have money to be buying cds i thought i'd go for the latter.

we went to the park yesterday and ate hot chips and sauce.
we played frisbee which was really fun except when natalie threw it really well right into my lip. my lip started bleeding and there was some really impressive spluttering of blood.
there's a little cut now and a small bruise.

i had a good sleep in this morning until 11:45am. i dreamt i was swimming in a pool with really tall people and as i went to do another lap there was only about 30cms of water left in the bottom.

i watched Ghost World last night with natalie and a cruiser ice. cruiser ice's taste like alcoholic sherbet.
Ghost World was pretty slow. it has some good bits like when enid listen's to a record, and when she meets Norman at the bus stop. I'd like to see the comic strip because i think i would find it more interesting then the movie.

it's always fun to log on to blogger and find and unpublished post just waiting for you, like a little dog at the end of a long day. just wating to be published. *sigh*
i don't know why anyone would want to wear a blogger jumper or t-shirt. i guess the jumper looks pretty warm so if i had money i might buy one but it's really just free advertising for blogger. It's like the 'trendy' op-shop down the road, on all their mens work shirts they embroid the shops name on the pocket. so you find this perfectly nice shirt with 'small change' written on it. I don't think it would really promote their business because no one would know about them because it's just one little shop. People would probably assume it's the name of a band or maybe a theatre company.

i like wearing my channel V hat.
it's black and makes me look taller.
it also makes my head look less flat.

i had a dream last night that i went to the station (in hornsby) and i wanted to know when the trains came so i went up to a little coffee place to ask. but when i got there em g was working there, so i tried to avoid getting served by her but it just got too hard and then she said 'erin, did you want a coffee?' and i said 'no, i am going to catch a train' and then i walked away. it's so evil. i want to forget about her, well actually she wants to forget about me - i have no issues with her....anyway i just want some closure....but as long as she doesn't give me closure she'll keep popping up in my dreams and saying stupid things to me. but she won't give me closure because she just doesn't care anymore. our friendship was just based on the fact that making me happy made her feel better about herself...... how shallow is that. and how much did she lie at the time when i actually thought she gave a shit about me? it's all really fucked and i should get over it but frankly it just hurts. it's like if someone was feeling low so they adopted a kid and it made them feel better so they just left the kid on the side of the road to get run over. the kid's feeling didn't matter because the person that had adopted them was happy now.

i got a postcard from kaia today. it had an aboriginal boy on it from alice springs.
she says she's having fun but she's sick. i wonder if it's a physical sickness or she's just sick of Fusion (but that's another bowl of jellybeans)

i might go on a fat diet and get really fat.

i don't know what i'm doing wrong with this diet/exercise crap. i'm not changing at all. all the pudge is still in the places i don't want it to be. people say 'but erin you don't have pudge' but they don't see it because it's in places that get covered up by clothes. like my stomach and hips and legs. people don't see the little annoying pudgness that i see. so anyway i've been exercising lots and cutting out most carbs and trying to eat healthy.... but no. nothing is happening. someone in this world doesn't want me to be able to get rid of pudge. i hate that person.

i am now the proud owner of a pensioner concession card.
my name is michelle and i have four kids.
shelli, kayla, joshua and tahni. they're so precious.

don't ask what i had to do to get this.......
(basically because its a very short and boring story.

There was a young girl called Erin whose nature was loving & caring
she liked to make art infused with her heart
while the powers that be kept her poor & despairing
KK

tafe won't give me a concession card because i don't study enough hours.
centrelink won't give me a concession card because i am not 'looking for work' and study too many hours.

the system is shite.

my dodgy unemployment concession card from the nice centerlink man runs out in three days.

i'm buggered.

i dazzled them with my white boxes today. well at least ruth seemed happy.
thats one 3D design project out of the way.

msn is crazy this afternoon.

sge called me today, they need my signature so i can get a debit card.

it's cold again today and i have to go to tafe. it's not too bad after having five days off and having done pretty much jack all in that time.
i haven't heard from either of the jobs so i doubt i ever will. i'm destined to be a poor student forever. well at least for another 4 1/2 years. then i won't even be a student, just poor.
$7 until friday.
maybe i'll save it all up and go crazy on thursday and buy some indian or something.
$7 doesn't get you into the movies like it used too. well, it used to get you into to hornsby odeon. i think the GU and hoyts were about $7.50.

the computer is being a bastard.
every time i change users it disconnects the net,
every time i send an email it disconnects the net,
every time it checks for new mail it disconnects the net.
it's slow.
it doesn't seem to have viruses.
it's annoying.

today i'm making a bug out of an old phone and using my hot glue gun.
his name will be Joe Phone Bug.

Don't Leave The Light On Baby - B&S

It's been a bloody stupid day
My baby called me up to say
Don't call me love, don't call me
It's not all she said

I truly love her but I know
I'm bad for her, I'm bad and so
At least she may forgive me for my honesty

My friend came back from being abroad
He was rich and I was overawed
His ship came in
I'm standing on the harbour wall

Another friend, the one I love
Turns to me "Have you seen enough?"
"Let's hang about
There's nothing like a sunset"

It's been a bloody stupid day
Don't leave the light on baby
My baby called me up to say
Don't leave the light on baby
I'll see you sometime maybe
Don't leave the light on baby
It finally dawned on me tonight
Best to go down without a fight
I know you will forgive me for my honesty

a list of things i want to do in sydney:

visit some art galleries
go to Emads
spend a day in the city, even if it's just walking around, i miss the city.
go to the Bank maybe.
visit chucky
take up the hem on my brown pants
visit moe
get some indian from the good indian place in hornsby
go to borders
go to gloria jeans and complain that the soy milk is still crap
walk around the Rocks.
see people who haven't bothered to visit and ask why they haven't bothered to visit
suprise visit chris at school
put up anti homophobia posters at aghs while dressed in army gear and humming the tune to mission impossible
see bec
catch up with Cate
see people from school
see natalie's family
see the dog at No#184
go have a picnic in the Botanic Gardens or maybe just wahroonga park if i get lazy

mum called the other day. i asked her if she'll buy me some winter clothes so i don't freeze. she said 'we'll see'. 'we'll see' used to mean 'ok, but don't tell your father' now it just means 'no, but i'll say 'we'll see' because it sounds nicer'.
mum asked me how tafe was, what had i been doing etc.. then adam asked me the same... and then dad asked the same but didn't seem as interested (i think he was watching tv) and then that was the end. i had to go through the same conversation three times. adam and dad both asked if i had a job yet. i told them about my attempts but they didn't seem pleased. it's hard enough having the job of being a student, a poor student at that.
oh, i got my mobile phone bill today. natalie lent me the money but i'll transfer it back after i next get paid, hopefully she won't notice. last week i had $5 to last the four days before i got paid on friday. i now have $15 to last me the next week and a half. i think i can get by. we shopped for food today so at least we won't starve.

i tried to get a job again this week.
i ask at hmv but they said no.
i asked at a restaurant called Emma's, they said no, we've just hired people, but we'll pretend to take interest and take your resume because of that 0.09% chance we might actually call you.
my contact at spotligth handed in my resume and apparently 'Narelle' said that they had just lost a few staff so thy might be hiring soon.
and i called about a kitchenhand job in a retirement home. The lady that answered the phone said the manager is ringing people this week to arrange interviews. If i get an interview i should turn up wearing my redleaf nurse dress, that migth get a foot in the door.

I'm getting desparate, not so much that i'd start hitching in Islington or Mayfield, but really, considering to go back to kitchen work with old people is pretty major.