April 2003 Archives

[ April 30, 2003 ]

an ocean is swirling in my stomach and i'm not too sure why. nothing is obviously wrong with life but there's something uncomfortable about it. something that might have happened in the past that is started to surface. but i think it's scared of coming back, or maybe i'm scared of remembering it. it feels so physical that i could almost throw it up, discard it and walk on by.
it's like feeling drunk without the alcohol. no buzz. no laughter. just a dumb silence in my mind.

erin [05:26 PM] Comments (1)

on the train. 27-4-03
country trains. they're musty and damp with a sauna like warmth. not a welcoming warmth, an uncomfortable warmth, a wamrth that has a sort of 'piss off' attitude. so why am i in this sweaty metal box? because i thought it would be a nice gesture to attend a friend's 21st, even if it meant 4hrs on the train there and back.
there's people sleeping. travelling people with huge packs. how can they sleep? aren't they afraid of waking up in the middle of nowhere?
it's raining. rain makes trains so much more depressing, so much more smelly.

erin [05:21 PM] Comments (1)

you put me in a box so you could keep me clean
shoved into a corner you never said why
you asked me how i was but didn't really listen to my cloaked answer
i found my world without you
i did well at things i liked
you asked me how i was but again you didn't see
so now you've given up on me, now you don't even ask
so that's why it's like this

erin [05:16 PM] Comments (0)